The nameย Great Balls of Fire doesn’t exactly inspire high-expectations. This is, partly, why I found myself unable to get too excited for it. Of course, i’m not that shallow and it’s not the only reason. In addition, certain elements of my personal and professional life became too demanding in the past month to spare time for weekly editions ofย Raw. This meant that this was another PPV that I went into somewhat blindly. I was peripherally aware of certain storylines; it’s been hard to ignore the rumblings between Big Cass and Enzo Amore, for example. Also, the wildly anticipated clash between Samoa Joe and Brock Lesnar was a clear selling point.
Although I wasn’t particularly invested going intoย Great Balls of Fire, I found myself impressed by much of it. Having said that, it doesn’t quite live up to previous PPV offerings from 2017. It seemed to be an event more concentrated on the advancement of narrative than anything else. At times, the wrestling suffered as a result. I would have liked to see longerย matches, but at least the stellar Iron Man Match ticked that box. With post-show buzz surely focusing on the Braun Strowman ambulance incident, i’d much rather give credit to the show as a whole.
The Kick-Off Show
We’re getting started with our #WWEGBOF live-tweets now! Let’s just hope that this interesting card is better than its awful title! pic.twitter.com/YnL96KL4Oq
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 9, 2017
After a very busy month, I’ve been away from WWE for some time. Not up-to-date, but I’ll be providing whatever commentary to #WWEGBOF I can! pic.twitter.com/i6kkaC8rOx
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 9, 2017
He may not be Sam Roberts, but Peter Rosenberg (@Rosenbergradio) is still a great analyst. He’s also starting off #WWEGBOF with a good face! pic.twitter.com/3uhI9ffuvG
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 9, 2017
Whenever these pre-shows bring on someone else to add “analysis”, it’s shit. Here’s @DanaBrookeWWE sucking off her mic at #WWEGBOF instead. pic.twitter.com/K00oVVkywz
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 9, 2017
Great way to get pre-show viewers excited for the main event at #WWEGBOF. Paul Heyman (@HeymanHustle), even when penned in, is always a joy. pic.twitter.com/UbKAS4Wu8S
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 9, 2017
Do you wish your talents were being used in more varied ways, @HeymanHustle?#AskHeyman
Great face though… #WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/qvPjYtDFziโ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 9, 2017
Neville vs. Akira Tozawaย (w/ Titus O’Neil)
(WWE Cruiserweight Championship)
Long live the king, you filthy toerags.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/gMsaa6LmdX
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 9, 2017
Wish I liked Tozawa. He’s just so one-note. Another underused foreign talent, i’m sure.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/LQcZr6eXPP
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 9, 2017
Bit o’ quality mockery from the King.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/tpSv4YMQTJ
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 9, 2017
Average so far, and probably doesn’t have enough time to develop!#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/9J8JMJxfOM
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 9, 2017
This #WWEGBOF kick-off match is too standard to even really criticise. Totally not grabbed; know Neville will win in the end. pic.twitter.com/j7dQo1q9ei
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 9, 2017
I think it’s just that even the good stuff in the match is repeated and repackaged. Only a pre-show match, but still.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/BhR7Hq0YD8
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 9, 2017
The king has, of course, held on to his title, but he doesn’t seem too bothered about taking it with him. Top lad.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/ZRygRFhZ5q
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 9, 2017
In hindsight…
This kick-off show sailed along on autopilot. It seemed to be just going through the motions and fulfilling all the cynical promotion necessary. In the past, this year, kick-off shows have been a little more innovative. They’ve featured some intensely memorable matches too.ย One of their strengths is in the level of their promo-packages. This time, I just wasn’t all that sold. In fact, they were a fairly boring affair that didn’t do much toย get the adrenaline going. Perhaps I was just overwhelmingly annoyed by the nonsensical theme of the entire PPV.
The match between Tozawa and Neville can be described in very similar terms. It’s not that they did a bad job; both talents are gifted and capable. The problem came from a distinct feeling that they were just phoning it in. It doesn’t help that i’m sick of Tozawa’s pointless roaring, which served as a constant reminder throughout of how little respect WWE give to foreign talents. While this was, indeed, a kick-off match, evidence from this very year proves that doesn’t have toย be a guarantee of middling standard. Bear in mind that it was aย championship match too. Didn’t feel like it, though.
It’s a bollocks theme for a PPV, but here we go with the first ever #WWEGBOF! Join us for live-tweets with acerbic and playful commentary… pic.twitter.com/11UxUK0xzU
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 10, 2017
Bray Wyatt vs. Seth Rollins
Having been away from WWE for a month, I have no idea why this match has been booked. Let’s just see what happens, then.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/OLeA91UTrV
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 10, 2017
Seriously though, how is this a “mindgame”?#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/2UdEiDVVRe
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 10, 2017
This is clearly a PPV for good facial expressions… Domination from Bray so far, probably building for a Seth comeback.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/sOP6NR5T2Z
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 10, 2017
Genuinely good superplex time!#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/orFYsSe4BZ
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 10, 2017
Practically NO offence from Rollins yet… Surely this makes the eventual momentum shift too obvious?#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/aUdadxXHjo
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 10, 2017
‘ere he is.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/WtSV3BCnIC
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 10, 2017
Impressive. A modern day excellence-of-execution.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/Lpsx9YY86A
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 10, 2017
Momentum shifts are beginning to make a bit more sense now. Some top-level bumps in this too.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/H7kAPAJUvJ
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 10, 2017
“This is what a God looks like!”
– Bray WyattAnd that’s why i’m an atheist.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/AYtGKBISSk
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 10, 2017
Wyatt with a win out of nowhere, celebrating it with a cheeky nibble. Pretty good match; could have been longer.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/QeP48rwnAf
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 10, 2017
In hindsight…
At first, Wyatt took complete control of this match in a way that I actually enjoyed seeing. Wyatt has frequently found himself in my bad books lately, generally speaking. His character’s just become altogether too silly over the past couple of years. Although he’s wonderful at what he does, and a fine athlete, it’s been a while since I’ve seen much more than brawling and finishers from him. Conversely, he was so on it, at the beginning of this match, that his harsh squashing seemed a bit too far.ย I expected this to go somewhere nevertheless, with a strong, energetic return from Rollins seeming inevitable. Unfortunately, this was rather too much to ask.
By the time heย didย bring himself into the match, it was only a bit of tussling later before he lost in a blink-and-you’ll-miss it disappointment.ย Of course, both performers contributed a smattering of great spots and bumps. Due to an overstuffed card, this is one of the matches that suffered the most. It should have been so much more. In essence, all this needed was a handful more minutes to let it flesh-out. That way, we could have seen something with a real psychology instead of of exaggerated “mindgames”.ย I particularly feel that Rollins shouldn’t be losing matches like this at the moment. On the other hand, Wyattย shouldย be winning matches like this. Odd.
These are still clinging on? Jesus.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/oF43gcQnKi
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 10, 2017
Big Cass vs. Enzo Amore
This is actually a very compelling storyline, carried by two great talents. Only question is, where is it going to end up?!#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/0FpUhM2h1R
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 10, 2017
So tough to get a non-blurry screencap of Enzo, the spidery bastard. How he’ll hang with Cass I just can’t imagine…#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/C68BbSAoWG
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 10, 2017
This mic work from Enzo is utterly divine. Sprawling, confident and perfectly delivered. What a talker.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/WiXLo7yhD7
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 10, 2017
Fantastic heel turn going on here. I just hope Enzo can keep going on his own. Reconciliation makes no sense right now.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/3wwZKArYhy
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 10, 2017
Predictable dominance from Cass, but Enzo is sure to have some high-octane tricks up his sleeve. Unless this is a squash…#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/QczphbwYR2
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 10, 2017
Facial expressions as good as his mic work…
Nice one, Enzo.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/juvrAE596mโ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 10, 2017
Beginning to believe that this is nothing more than a squash to establish Cass’ new heel turn.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/fp0LvCQN6o
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 10, 2017
As I thought, it wasn’t long before Cass tied it up. Rubbish match in-ring, but pretty good for storyline and Cass’ character!#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/XVPAv6aQ0G
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) July 10, 2017
In hindsight…
Obviously, this was never going to be a fair bout. I had hoped that Amore might pull a few more tricks out of the bag regardless, by thinking outside the box. Instead, this was exactly the squash that you might expect. It wasn’t any kind of match in the strict sense, of course. It basically consisted of Amore being thrown around for a little while. Even though this element of the match was a disappointment, it’s done wonders for Cass’ extremely compelling heel turn. To illustrate this, he was as ruthless as he was charismatic. After all, Amore and Cass were in need of a jolt to the system; that’s exactly why this is so interesting to see.
The most memorable thing about this otherwise was Amore’s spine-tingling mic-work before the bell. When he gets talking it’s sure to be entertaining, but this took things to an entirely new level. It’s possibly the best live promo I’ve seen cut this year. The only thing i’m still confused about is where this entire story is going to end up. It’s going to work out alright for Cass, but where does that leave Amore? If you ask me, it would be ill-advised to bring the two back together for some time. So, that leaves Amore on his own for now. He’ll either have to step up his game, or find a new partner; each are intriguing prospects…
Cesaro and Sheamus vs. The Hardy Boyz
(Iron Man Match – WWE Raw Tag Team Championship)
So unbelievably sick of the Hardyz. Cesaro and Sheamus deserve better opponents to prove their mettle.#WWEGBOF #IronManMatch pic.twitter.com/vp0EB06VzH
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Fall One
Sheamus has already won them a fall in this #IronManMatch. I don’t think this match favours the Hardyz…#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/Cg5UkLZf3D
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Cutie.#WWEGBOF #IronManMatch pic.twitter.com/CyhoWPq9DQ
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
The Hardyz are actually so dull. All the same old moves and some weak submissions. Cesaro and Sheamus however…#WWEGBOF #IronManMatch pic.twitter.com/dTUHh6lYl6
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
The champs are just on fire in this match. Working well together, with interesting and charismatic offence.#WWEGBOF #IronManMatch pic.twitter.com/1XZvPFOBJ5
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
It’s like the Hardyz have NO chance. Realistic really.#WWEGBOF #IronManMatch pic.twitter.com/1cY0BCY7jD
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Fall Two
Tag champs that are utterly in sync. So beautiful to see. Thanks for jobbing for them, Hardyz. Another fall followed#WWEGBOF #IronManMatch pic.twitter.com/sSwzuUx9jF
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Matt Hardy’s “comeback” is HILARIOUSLY shit and impactless.
GET OFF THE ROSTER#WWEGBOF #IronManMatch pic.twitter.com/3tr0mY95oBโ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Fall Three
An uninspired and badly performed five-moves-of-doom leads to an obligatory fall for the Hardyz. Whatever.#WWEGBOF #IronManMatch pic.twitter.com/ixUwKGtEco
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Fall Four
This facial expression is about the best thing Matt’s done all match. Sheamus and Cesaro just got a count-out fall.#WWEGBOF #IronManMatch pic.twitter.com/ONESCzBfQi
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Now the lifeless “domination” of the Hardyz is over, we can return to enjoying some true charisma.#WWEGBOF #IronManMatch pic.twitter.com/SnrR5ZD3FF
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Cesaro and Sheamus were made for each other.#WWEGBOF #IronManMatch pic.twitter.com/K8rR3Dy17l
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Things getting more chaotic and fast-paced in the closing minutes. Strange match, partly great and partly dull.#WWEGBOF #IronManMatch pic.twitter.com/e5RGXVqRKh
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Fall Five
The Hardyz take another fall after an admittedly inventive move. They’ve picked it up more near the end.#WWEGBOF #IronManMatch pic.twitter.com/8T28A06i8z
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
This is actually a VERY intelligent match. Puts you right on the edge of your seat in the last minutes.#WWEGBOF #IronManMatch pic.twitter.com/etftkRKm3A
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Fall Six
Okay Matt, fair enough. This was bloody good. Equalised the falls after this bump too. Now what?! Wonderful match!#WWEGBOF #IronManMatch pic.twitter.com/ErsSQSulLI
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Very fun double team. The resulting pin was broken up by Cesaro. The excitement level is so high!#WWEGBOF #IronManMatch pic.twitter.com/cse6GaHznj
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Fall Seven
Last minute naughty cover from Cesaro, winning them the match.#WWEGBOF #IronManMatch pic.twitter.com/cQjo6AszFa
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
I was too harsh on the Hardyz at first. That was a gorgeous match. Will probably end up as the best of #WWEGBOF. Top-quality.#IronManMatch pic.twitter.com/i0O79mcV67
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
In hindsight…
All in all, this was quite easily the very best match of the card. Surprisingly, the Hardyz offered almost as much as their opponents. Even though it took them a bit of extra time to really get their momentum flowing, the veterans were a large part of why this was as exhilarating as it turned out. When they did, you have to be fair to their daring athleticism. To be clear, I just didn’t think they had it in them anymore. I’m very pleased to be shown otherwise. They also took a strong portion of punishment, which is to their credit. Indeed, Matt Hardy ended up significantly busted up by the conclusion of this intelligent Iron Man Match.
These two teams were rather dull at the previousย Rawย PPV,ย Extreme Rules. While Cesaro and Sheamus’ potential has shone through for a while, I had started to wonder if they were ever going to live up to it.ย In case anyone still doubted their synergy and abilities as a team, this is definitive proof of their skills. Not only were they magnetic, and perfectly in-tune, but they consistently provided heavy-hitting bumps that were well-executed and indicative of expansive tag-team sensibilities. That is, of course, massively high praise. When they can put on a match like this, in the way that they did, it’s evidentย they deserve it.
Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss
(WWE Raw Women’s Championship)
Let’s just hope this is better than Alexa Bliss’ last, poor, PPV appearance at Extreme Rules. We know she has it in her!#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/E86XLvo5uj
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
A slow start…#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/UN7Smtch4f
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Alexa Bliss pulling her little trick. Fun. Now, wrestle.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/O1JtJJmj9O
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
I can only hope this develops, as it’s not all that interesting right now.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/Fq1no2TBkw
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Blurry image, but this is more like it.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/lSpvtmxk2h
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Unfortunately, this match is feeling very much like fluffy filler.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/Q9uhdzw7JF
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
There are lovely little inflections, like this knee-to-the-face, but it’s not grabbing me at all. Feels like a pre-show match.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/cndFXopxb3
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Getting somewhere now. This turned into some submission anxiety with Bliss eventually getting to the ropes.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/zoYM06U6Wq
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Bliss counts herself out. Sigh. A horrible ending 95% of the time. Not a good enough match to warrant it. Big yawn.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/Gv2MKXKo7Q
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Sasha followed after, which eventually resulted in this; then a double-knee to the ol’ head, off the announce, table into Bliss#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/ohiZJQa93a
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
In hindsight…
If this is the best that Bliss can do as champion, I think i’m going to stop heralding her as some enormous talent. Herย Extreme Rulesย appearance was a waste of my time too. I’ve held Bliss up as being one of the very finest talents on the roster, male or female, but I would have thought she could pull some better PPV matches out of the bag if so. Besides the credibility of the two participants, this offered nothing worth seeing. It, in fact, seemed to be the very model of pointless filler. That’s not to mention the finish either. Forced count-out victories always feel like a slap in the face, and I believe Bliss would be a far more engaging character if she could show her strengths in the ring more. I expect her to be brutal, whereas WWE seem set on portraying her as a coward.
The Mizย (w/ Maryse, Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas)ย vs. Dean Ambrose
(WWE Intercontinental Championship)
If this match is anywhere near as good as their last PPV bout, it should be very memorable. Doubt it will though.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/nkKRO1tTAG
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Ambrose gets to work on Miz’s cronies right away. Now Miz is pummelling into him for his troubles.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/KAtqzjs83R
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
These two have an awesome synergy in the ring together. On it with nice grapples and strikes within minutes.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/kR68UTpOXa
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Think we have ourselves another quality facial expression!#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/jmnKE2WnUF
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Good work so far, but nothing too stand-out. Maybe i’m coming into it with too high expectations.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/gRaJ0HbWzM
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
This match can be best described by Theresa May: “Strong and Stable”. It’s just not outstanding. Yet.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/IhxjUeDEib
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
‘ave that, y’bastard.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/7pmnnK1jQs
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Even the ref’s getting in on the facial expressions at this PPV! Match is heating up now.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/PO7W32rrfV
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
I always speak to soon. Victory for Miz, thanks to Maryse, just when things were going somewhere. Above-average filler, but filler.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/iTWlkZHOEk
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
In hindsight…
There’s no denying that Miz and Ambrose work perfectly together in-ring. As I mentioned in my tweets, the last time these two clashed at a PPV was something to behold. That’s surely why this match seemed a little beneath them to me. As soon as the bell rung, they got into some nice stuff together, but nothing seemed to stick. Worse, just as things started taking steps towards getting somewhere, it came to a close. Like Bliss’ match, it had the overwhelming feeling of being a place-holding time-waster. Also in common with the women’s battle is how much more itย couldย have been.
Hmm.#WWEGBOF #GreatBalls pic.twitter.com/5shxHrgjs7
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns
(Ambulance Match)
The only other ambulance match I’ve seen was wank, and I can’t say I have high hopes for this one.#WWEGBOF #AmbulanceMatch pic.twitter.com/FFLN4q6c8k
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Double hmm…#WWEGBOF #GREATBALLS #m8 pic.twitter.com/KZhaH78fIF
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
It’s all Boring Strowman at the moment. These two aren’t exactly known for barnstorming matches, though.#WWEGBOF #AmbulanceMatch pic.twitter.com/CxtNB2RCOg
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
The stair shots are lovely, and heavy-hitting, but i’m just not behind Boring Strowman and his tired auto-rage.#WWEGBOF #AmbulanceMatch pic.twitter.com/pb9Wfm3aBz
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
It’s like watching one of the worst original Godzilla movies in ultra-slow mo.
GET ON WITH IT#WWEGreatBallsOfFire #AmbulanceMatch pic.twitter.com/jJqoRo2GeQโ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Chairs now. It’s nice to have a weapon based match on the card though. That sets it apart from the rest.#WWEGBOF #AmbulanceMatch pic.twitter.com/qIg8FaNpEC
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
RAGERAGERAGE
ME SO ANGRY
RAGERAGERAGE#WWEGBOF #AmbulanceMatch pic.twitter.com/2bWfyzPEOnโ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Is anyone actually sucked in by this tedious, overblown casket match?#WWEGBOF #AmbulanceMatch pic.twitter.com/MnaABOnUlT
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Now, that was some throw. I’ll give you that, Boring Strowman.#WWEGBOF #AmbulanceMatch #GreatBallsPal pic.twitter.com/NHw19oyyqZ
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Boring Strowman got himself in a mess, demolishing some of the stage. This has some good “extreme” moments, it’s just SO slow.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/nD3M50igHr
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Reigns, you fucking idiot. You got beaten the same way 70% of all platform game bosses are beaten. Twat. #BadBalls#WWEGBOF #AmbulanceMatch pic.twitter.com/mZQC9AIrvo
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
In hindsight…
Now, before I get to the madness that occurred after this match, I thought i’d talk about what actually happened in it. I think this was a lot better than my initial reactions describe. It was slow, to the point of being glacial in its pace at times, but incredibly impactful. I like Reigns, though I don’tย loveย him, but I still believe Strowman’s too green to be this far up the card. In fairness, he carried a well-constructed brawl-fest, far more so than I’ve seen from him before. In the end, the way Reigns lost – by literally spearing the ambulance itself – was deeplyย stupid. It could have been more subtle, and shouldn’t have made Reigns look like such a brainless dolt.
The Ambulance Incident
(Heath Slater vs. Curt Hawkins)
You take your eyes off the screen for 1 second and Reigns drives off in the bloody ambulance! Reckless.#WWEGBOF #AmbulanceMatch #ProBalls pic.twitter.com/oDMc5DY4tM
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Christ Reigns, you nutter!#WWEGBOF #AmbulanceMatch #TremendousBalls pic.twitter.com/TUO754PjLu
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
How long is this PPV?! Where’s the main event?!#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/k30WoD7SlT
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Get on with it. This is a pointless excuse for them to big up the fact that Boring Strowman’s dead or something.#WWEGBOF #BoredBalls pic.twitter.com/2y7tyUpoyP
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
The bell rung and Slater won when the match wasn’t even on screen. Please stop insulting my intelligence and wasting my time, WWE.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/FLeMaKW8li
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
“This is truly tragic.”
– Corey GravesCouldn’t agree more. Gotta give them credit for taking it this far.#WWEGBOF #SteadfastBalls pic.twitter.com/zXXxtIf4OB
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
‘ere he is.#WWEGBOF #NotableKnackers pic.twitter.com/DZVmePp4RV
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Get that man some aspirin, damnit. He’s gonna be uncomfortable in his beautiful hotel suite.#WWEGBOF #MedicalTesticles pic.twitter.com/oMsrBHCM1T
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
If you ask me, it was worth it for this facial expression…#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/qVDUJ73Gy3
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
In hindsight…
As can be seen from my live reactions, I was in quite a silly mood by this point of the PPV. It could have been mere fatigue, but I suspect there was more to it than that. Through this whole segment, I couldn’t get certain vibes out of my head. The whole thing rang a lot of bells back to when the New Age Outlaws lobbed Mick Foley and Terry Funk (as “Chainsaw Charlie”) off the stage in a dumpster. It was played off in very similar ways, only the differences in scale say a lot about the changing expectations of audiences. While it was practically the same as that founding Attitude Era moment, in tone and circumstance, i’m actually quite seduced by how they’ve gone about it. Slater and Hawkins were necessary window dressing, but the whole presentation of this segment was near-flawless.
Brock Lesnar vs. Samoa Joe
(WWE Universal Championship)
Seems it’s finally happening, but doesn’t this mean it’s gonna be all of five minutes long? Great.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/F4Ik0yskT4
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Let’s go, then.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/AiX9iYmnNW
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Joe doesn’t waste any time. He even interrupted Heyman! #COLOSSALBalls#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/6j3j4BjpIM
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Then gets Lesnar straight through the table! Probably not going to be much of a match, but should have good bumps.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/ezeHYy0Be7
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Brock is, surprisingly, dazed. Will we actually see him toppled?! Joe isn’t letting up!#WWEGBOF #UniversalTitle pic.twitter.com/cvMCMJkA9E
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Joe’s not an easy man to take to Suplex City, so I have to give Lesnar credit for that. I hate him ever so much though.#WWEGBOF pic.twitter.com/FsWCihy42T
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Samoan Balls#WWEGBOF #UniversalTitle pic.twitter.com/t8VUofuCSY
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Oh I do so love seeing Lesnar in this position. About time.#WWEGBOF #UniversalTitle pic.twitter.com/JDHv6ZParl
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
An F-5 sees itself reversed into the clutch. I wouldn’t mind this ending quick with such dominance from Joe.#WWEGBOF #UniversalTitle pic.twitter.com/V1RrzDQDmr
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
Just one F-5 later though, and Lesnar wins in the biggest yawn of the whole night.#WWEGBOF #UniversalTitle pic.twitter.com/bIOgR2aHoJ
โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
In hindsight…
I could write an entire article about why I despise Lesnar so much, but that’s for another time. It appears, unfortunately, that we could be stuck with his hulking idiocy for some time. I’m not saying he’s devoid of talent, but I don’t believe he ever really uses it. I can say the same about Joe’s WWE tenure, which doesn’t really seem to have kicked into full gear yet. The match we ended up with between the two was almost exactly as I imagined it; boring. I’ve read some positive reception to this match, but I just don’t see it myself.
Joe’s opening gambit of laying directly into Lesnar was enjoyable, not least because people don’t usually take it to the beast incarnate like that. I always get a kick out of seeing Lesnar red-faced and gurning in pain. Since I got to see that, i’m even willing to extend a respectful nod to him for his smooth suplexes. The problem with this match is the same problem that always crops up with Lesnar. He’s just not actually good enough to make his finishes believable. In my eyes, it damages the PPVs he’s booked on as much as the wrestlers he fights. I always find it sad to see. Joe deserves more than the lazy finish he received. Then again, this is the WWE…
In conclusion…
The main thing that I took away fromย Great Balls of Fireย was its overall lack of strong in-ring product. There were flashes over the entire event, with the tag-team championship flying the flag the highest, but it never really felt like there was enough actual wrestling. As I look back over it, and after writing all of this, i’m beginning to consider much of the PPV rather pointless. I’m interested to see where things are going to go with Amore and Cass, as well as Strowman, but everything else seemed cobbled together purely for the sake of it. Maybe when WWE aren’t tied to a corporate theme they could do without, they can concentrate on making the card deliver a bit more.
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โ secret cave ๐ (@_secretcave) 10 July 2017
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