A Smark’s Guide to: WWE Fastlane 2017

WWE‘s fledgling Fastlane event is still, in many ways, just finding its feet.  It’s not a bad concept for a Pay-Per-View either, introducing last minute twists and turns to the Road to WrestleMania.  This year, the main point of contention was Kevin Owens‘ Universal Title defence against Goldberg.  With the victor going on to face Brock Lesnar at the imminent WrestleMania, it’s something that the WWE Universe had their eyes set keenly on.  Of course, the finish was always going to end up predictable.  We’ll discuss that in the end but, first, there’s quite an undercard to comb over.…   [continue reading]

Secret Cave Office Chart [MARCH 2017]

This month’s playlist is much more varied than the February edition.  I tried a lot harder to make it a bit more representative of my overarching tastes.  That said, quite a lot of this material was new to me.  I’m finding that making these is helping me to discover a few things myself.  That, at the very least, makes it worth doing.  Overall, i’m really quite happy with this one.  However, I do have a couple of problems i’d like to iron out for April’s Office Chart.  For example, I feel the two halves are slightly too separate.  After a more upbeat opening, it’s quite a bit more chilled out by its conclusion.  …   [continue reading]

Donald Trump and WWE

Hear Donald Trump discussed on the Secret Cave Podcast!

While everyone else taps out their vitriol or support for the USA’s new President-elect, I think it’s best that Secret Cave not overtly take any political stance.  Since we’re a site that likes to focus on the forgotten elements of things, I thought i’d throw his ludicrous WWE appearances into the hat instead.  After all, this is the first time a WWE Hall-of-Famer will be taking residence at the White House, and I do think that holds some significance worth implying.  He’s had a lot of important positions in his time, but President is several steps up from noted-wrestling-cameo.  …   [continue reading]

Why Is The Undertaker So Important?

Hear the writers discuss this subject on the Secret Cave Podcast!

As the Phenom, the Dead Man and a clearly Big Evil, The Undertaker has been the stuff of legends from his very beginnings.  It’s not even something many people have questioned or considered.  The Undertaker is absolutely brilliant and it’s as simple as that.  The closest anyone will get is smarks dissecting his in-ring limitations, while openly accepting his undeniable quality.  I would find it utterly impossible to understand any argument that paints him as less than iconic.  A true deity in the world of sports entertainment, his long and decorated career is absolutely one of the most important things in the industry.  …   [continue reading]

And What a Maneuver, Right Here on Monday Night Raw!

Grainy video quality as Bam Bam Pigelow walks down the aisle. Chucking his arms up in the air and roaring for some reason. Horrendous ‘heavy’ ‘rock’ ‘music’ thunders through the crowd at the Manhattan Centre. It’s 1993, and tone-deaf Bam Bam’s grunting his name on his own intro music.

What’s this? Forgettable Jobber’s being given a half-arsed introduction moments before Bam Bam punches him in the head and knocks him down for far too long.

Camera angle changes just as BAM BAM’S COMING OFF THE ROPES WITH A CLOTHESLINE AND OH WHAT A MANEUVER RIGHT HERE ON MONDAY NIGHT RAW.

Headbutt, and WHAT A MANEUVER.…   [continue reading]

The Montreal Screwjob

Much has been written about the Montreal Screwjob, easily the most controversial moment in wrestling history and the catalyst for what would be known as the Attitude Era.  It’s become an infamous milestone – almost a rite of passage for those learning about sports entertainment and its many treasures.  An incident that at first seems hazed in confusion and contradiction, when lucidly explained its simplicity in fact compliments its impact.  As such, i’m going to try my hardest to be as salient as I can in an article that won’t exceed six-hundred words.

To understand the notion of a screwjob, as it’s known, requires at least basic knowledge of kayfabe.  …   [continue reading]

Jim Ross

While i’m only three articles into writing about wrestling and this is the second spotlighting someone called Jim, it’s simply a subject I had to discuss today.  It’s odd how things happen.  Thinking about Jim Cornette and his incredible live appearances after my write-up on him two weeks ago, I sent him a cursory tweet asking him if he’d ever show his face in England again.  Hearing back from him almost instantly that he’ll in fact be making some appearances in just less than a month, I bought VIP tickets instantly to his upcoming Inside the Ropes show with Jim Ross himself (how could I pass up a chance to get a picture with two of my absolute heroes?).…   [continue reading]

WrestleMania X-Seven

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No one denies that, despite a fair few shaky years, WrestleMania is the grandaddy of them all – where it all began, where it all begins again and all the other rhetoric they throw at you to sell tickets.  While there are certainly many who would take against WrestleMania’s seventeenth offering for killing the overrated Attitude era, or indeed presenting a show of sports entertainment rather than ‘rassling, it still remains the most critically lauded.  Just one look at the card shows amazing initial promise, and it’s something the entire pay-per-view lived up to in spades.

Featuring, in large part, the culmination of years of storytelling, WrestleMania X-Seven managed to give basically all of its players the swansong they deserved before transitioning into the oft-overlooked Ruthless Aggression era.  …   [continue reading]

Jim Cornette

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Look at this grotesque Momma’s boy with his loaded tennis racket.  Isn’t that just one of the most punchable looks for anyone to sport, anywhere in the world and at any time?  Such is the genius of the heat-getting motherfucker that is Jim Cornette, King of the shoot interview and advocate for that old-timey wrestling your grandmother used to watch.  In my opinion, to not be aware of Cornette and what he’s brought to the squared circle is to disregard the entire medium – which i’m sure many of you do anyway (since this isn’t a dedicated wrestling/sports entertainment blog).

British fellow consumes media and regurgitates back what you should think about it.
…   [continue reading]