Forgotten Cave: Thoughts on an Alternate Universe

In his latest post, Benjamin wrote about the importance of archiving the internet. Reading it, it was alarming to learn just how much of the web fades quickly into void. Whenever a fledgling site finds itself in an eternally irretrievable tomb, it’s a surreal shame. Though many of these sites consist of nothing but abject posturing, it’s the equivalent of burning a printed page. Even worse is the notion that, in this metaphor, it would be the only remaining page on the planet with its unique content. Whether that page contains weak poetry, or sprawling and elegant prose, it’s symbolic of a loss that evokes death in its permanence.…   [continue reading]

SC Streamcast #02: PewDiePie and Hatfros

What is a “Hatfro”? It’s what happens when 90’s video game graphics are so ambiguous that it can’t decide if something is hair or head-wear. It’s only a small part of this SC Streamcast, but a point worth clearing up. Having said that, what exactly is an SC Streamcast anyway? With this being only our second episode, I’m not entirely sure that we know ourselves. In many ways, and with my hand on my heart, it’s a whim; a half-baked idea that I’m playing around with. While its off-the-cuff nature is undeniable, there is some consideration behind its format. Streams, as delightful and interesting as they can be, are quite exclusive in their scope and focus.…   [continue reading]

Volume #1: Birth – A Musical Gift for Zine Subscribers

Click here to get a free copy of the tape mailed to you. Scroll down for the full track-list and samples!

This is something we’ve been planning and working on in the background since we announced our physical zine. While Issue #1: Birth is 100% free, including postage and packaging, we want to give all we can to subscribers. Therefore, anyone who’s signed up will also receive an equally free tape of music and MP3 download of the contents. For those who don’t make it onto our mailing list before publication, Volume #1: Birth will be available on Bandcamp. However, this initial run of tapes is going to be unique.…   [continue reading]

Secret Cave Office Chart [SEPTEMBER 2017]

It feels incredible to be writing here again. For those who don’t know, or didn’t notice, our domain went offline for almost an entire week. This, obviously, left Benjamin and I distraught and distressed for the down-time’s duration. It effected every area of our output, with it even coming close to causing a permanent cessation. Despite such devastating circumstances, we’ve been able to move past it confidently in readiness for our next phase. As a result of the issues with the domain, a backlog of tasks requiring completion has built up. An Office Chart is well overdue, though I did state in the previous one that it might be the last.…   [continue reading]

Har Mar Superstar: Personal Boy, Catalogue Arcs and Body Shaming

This article ties in to a podcast I recorded with Sean Tillmann, available here.

Har Mar Superstar is the cipher through which Sean Tillmann expresses his art. Over nearly twenty years of activity, Tillmann has brought immense integrity to a constantly evolving catalogue. Nowhere is this more true than on his latest EP, Personal Boy. Taking all of his previous material and expanding on it naturally, Personal Boy is an exciting growth that works just as well on its own gargantuan merits. It consists of a mere three tracks (and a radio edit), though each is strong enough to outlive the brevity of the record as a whole.…   [continue reading]

Finale: SCP2 and Issue #1: Birth

This piece, which I’ve had planned in my mind for some time now, has proven intensely difficult to begin. In many ways, it signals a door closing. Perhaps that’s why I get a general sense of foreboding in its writing. On the other hand, while we’re certainly turning our backs on the past, it’s also indicative of a potential corridor of new doors opening up for us. Leaving the metaphors aside for one moment, Secret Cave is changing. To put it another way, we’re evolving.

In actuality, we’ve been evolving since our inception just under a year ago. At first, we were nothing more than a listless domain name; the site on which you read these words was a mere clotheshorse for the abject literary whims of its co-founders.…   [continue reading]

INTERNET STANDOFF: DJ Douggpound vs. Lee Tyrrell (SCP Mini)

When I spoke to Doug Lussenhop last month, we got into a surreal internet standoff. It all started innocently, with a conversation about the addiction we all have to our phones. It’s true that all too much of our time is spent scrolling through infinite news feeds. Personally, I could be far more productive than I am by simply turning off my phone. We’re all guilty of it in certain respects, with Lussenhop combating it by spending dedicated time, in the sticks, away from social media. For me, as someone who needs to learn lessons in a similar fashion to a hamster, more direct incentive is necessary.…   [continue reading]

Secret Cave Office Chart [AUGUST 2017]

As Benjamin and I scurry away at work for our upcoming print zine, this Office Chart nearly never happened. It’s more difficult to compile something as coherent as it is eclectic, on a regular basis, than I thought. So, I was somewhat lucky with this one. Many of the tracks fell into place with barely a nudge, making an end product that might be one of the more intriguing charts yet. Unfortunately, it may also be the final Office Chart that I make in this way. With Secret Cave moving in a different direction, I’m not sure what place they’ll have in the future.…   [continue reading]

WWE Battleground 2017 [REPORT]

Publishing this two days after the event aired, I can’t help but question if there’s any point. Then I realised, one of the reasons that I cover WWE PPVs here is to track their progress and development over time. Missing one, in a year that will have fourteen by its end, may not seem a big deal. However, I feel that not reporting this one PPV would be unfair on certain talents within. For example, Randy Orton and Jinder Mahal have been running a questionable and tiresome feud for some time now. It would be the height of injustice not to comment on their Punjabi Prison match at this year’s Battleground; it made me quite like Mahal for the first time, which is always worthy of discussion.…   [continue reading]

Predator: 420 (A Secret Cave Podcast Mini)

For this SCP Mini, we haven’t drawn from outside materials or our interview guests. Instead, for the first time, we’ve used clips from our very first season of podcasts. Within that season, we were a rather different beast. Season Two almost entirely consists of interviews with other creatives about their work. In our first episodes, Benjamin and I simply recorded casual conversations about pre-set topics. It was a very formative time for us, but I still feel there are some interesting relics there. It makes for the most entertaining listening when the two of us argued, which would usually feature my explosive temper.…   [continue reading]