WrestleMania 33 [LIVE TWEET STREAM/REPORT]

I always watch WrestleMania live. Wrestling is one of the odder things that we cover at Secret Cave, but it’s such a magnificent theatre for the absurd. I intend, at some point, to post something explanatory on my love for it. Until then, last night was WrestleMania and i’m still reeling from how good it was. It’s been a while since WrestleMania truly gripped me, but this one was pretty much great from start to finish. Focusing heavily on the in-ring product, it’s the first time in a while I found myself wishing for more storyline. That said, the athleticism and ring psychology was strong throughout.…   [continue reading]

LEGO Worlds [FIRST IMPRESSIONS]

LEGO Worlds
First Impressions

Concept
7/10

Admittedly, the mere concept of LEGO Worlds is what draws me in.  Melding the sensibilities of Minecraft and LEGO itself, its subtle step forward is very exciting.  Of course, much of its concept relies on established tropes and mechanics.  While it’s not building a brand new concept afresh, the ideas and potential it brings to the table seem to be what I wanted from Minecraft in the first place.  However, I can’t deny that the inclusion of greatly varied brick sizes is the main allure in that package.  It makes for much more detailed, enjoyable and artful landscapes, the creation of which is at your beck and call in a variety of interesting ways.  …   [continue reading]

A Smark’s Guide to: WWE Fastlane 2017

WWE‘s fledgling Fastlane event is still, in many ways, just finding its feet.  It’s not a bad concept for a Pay-Per-View either, introducing last minute twists and turns to the Road to WrestleMania.  This year, the main point of contention was Kevin Owens‘ Universal Title defence against Goldberg.  With the victor going on to face Brock Lesnar at the imminent WrestleMania, it’s something that the WWE Universe had their eyes set keenly on.  Of course, the finish was always going to end up predictable.  We’ll discuss that in the end but, first, there’s quite an undercard to comb over.…   [continue reading]

Our Cinema/On Cinema Season 9 [REPORT]

Gregg Turkington‘s Our Cinema Oscar Special should have been a triumph.  Instead, Tim Heidecker found a way to derail proceedings regardless of his absence.  It could have been an evening of insightful movie expertise; as we’ve come to expect from its host.  What we ended up with was a travesty.  Of course, Heidecker has a history of live meltdowns.  I had deep hopes that his personal issues wouldn’t fringe on another Oscar Special.  Unfortunately, On Cinema has become nothing more than a kind of therapy for Heidecker.  That his chaos can extend to the cool waters of Turkington’s winning criticism should be a concern for us all.…   [continue reading]

Reefer Madness (1936-1939) [COMMENTARY]

Reefer Madness
DIRECTOR: Louis J. Gasnier
STARRING: Dorothy Short, Kenneth Craig, Lillian Miles

Originally known as Tell Your Children, Reefer Madness has become infamous. Better known today as an archetypal “stoner” movie, it was first released in 1936 as church group propaganda.  As such, it’s full of nonsense.  Later re-cut in 1938 by Dwain Esper into an even more tawdry film, I honestly have no idea which version I have here.  Many consider it one of the best “bad movies”. For me, the current “bad movie” champion remains The Amazing Mr. X.  With a myriad of public domain movies still to come, there’s plenty of time for it to be dethroned….…   [continue reading]

The Brain That Wouldn’t Die (1962) [COMMENTARY]

The Brain That Wouldn’t Die
DIRECTOR: Joseph Green
STARRING: Jason (Herb) Evers, Virginia Leith, Leslie Daniel

Completed in 1959, but not released until 1962, The Brain That Wouldn’t Die has one of the best titles I’ve ever come across. Produced in the same year as Attack of the Giant Leeches, it does a much better job of being coherent, likeable and gripping. Unfortunately, it devolves into a sexist and meandering plot. Its opening is strong enough to make it memorable, however. Overall an enjoyable hour with some genuinely disturbing moments!

From Wikipedia:

The main plot focuses upon a mad doctor who develops a means to keep human body parts alive.

…   [continue reading]

Samurai Jack Season 5 [TRAILER REACTIONS]

I was a mere eleven years of age when Samurai Jack first premiered on Cartoon Network.  Because of this, I can speak with first-hand clarity of its instant obvious quality.  Even at that tender age it smashed out from the screen, leaving its peers far behind with an unbelievable strength of vision.  That’s not even to denigrate the network’s surrounding programming, itself a rich buffet of well-crafted material.  It’s just that Samurai Jack is so singular.  In no way does it ever hand-hold its audience.  Instead, each frame shines with its own beauty, leading us through a slow and quietly crafted narrative.  …   [continue reading]

Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959) [COMMENTARY]

Attack of the Giant Leeches
DIRECTOR: Bernard L. Kowalski
STARRING: Ken Clark, Yvette Vickers, Jan Shepherd

This mess, known alternatively as The Giant Leeches, should be ashamed of itself for being created in 1959. This is because Attack of the Giant Leeches is a truly terrible piece of work with, as far as I can tell, no redeeming features whatsoever. It’s hard to believe that this laughably awful dross has anything to do with the legendary Roger Corman, but it does.  However, it does make The Amazing Mr. X look like a work of genius.

From Wikipedia:

In the Florida Everglades, a pair of larger-than-human, intelligent leeches live in an underwater cave.

…   [continue reading]

Pixies – “Head Carrier” [ALBUM REVIEW]

I bloody love the Pixies.  They’ve been one of my favourite bands since I first heard Bone Machine; before my balls had even dropped.  To this day I consider their performance at 2005’s Leeds/Reading festival my finest live event.  To their hordes of vocal admirers, they carry around an enormous legacy everywhere they go.  It’s probably this pressure that has kept their back catalogue compressed and minimal over the years.  Indeed, even with their lengthy hiatus, you’d have expected more than six LPs from a band with the stature and history that the Pixies enjoy.  For me, this has always given them a mystique that greatly adds to their presence.…   [continue reading]

The Last Guardian [FINAL IMPRESSIONS]

The Last Guardian
Final Impressions

Concept
8/10

The conceptual thrust behind The Last Guardian had me somewhat confused when I first reviewed it.  After a more complete experience it’s clear that my assumptions were right.  For example, the main themes permeating both its story and gameplay are teamwork and friendship.  To expertly explore those thoughts, Trico is a uniquely realised AI mechanic, which anchors the whole thing.  Bringing him to life must have been a daunting prospect in an age where artificial intelligence is so widely weak.  That they took to the task with such flair and determination is laudable in itself, and the end result is entirely one of a kind.  …   [continue reading]