ACME (08) – Ancestral Jottings

8

Ancestral Jottings
(in the lands before ACME)

Chipped rock flew through humid, bubbling air.  Disordered lines in cave walls connected and separated in haphazard heavy-handedness.  Architects of some new place, intangible and distant to even its benefactors, hacked with primitive bashers and scratchers; patterns even they didn’t understand.  This was when man still bawled its aimless evolutionary whines – a communication, but with all the lexical weight of bleats and barks.  Here, as language was beginning to grind into motion, so too were the first wild lunges made in the direction of creativity.

A beat rose up in the night, rolled out on rocks and animal skin. …   [continue reading]

Muddied Waters: Why Batman Doesn’t Matter Anymore

Despite the extremely harsh title, it’s worth mentioning that i’m a huge fan of the Batman mythos.  It seemed obvious to me, from a young age, that he was the coolest and most interesting superhero.  Others somehow missed the mark; either too unbelievable, dull or derivative.  As such, I followed the Caped Crusader with growing intrigue as I got older.  Reaching a peak in my early twenties, I even once tried to write my own Batman yarn (one of those projects best left to rest).  None of this is an attack on the concept or, for the most part, execution of the character.  …   [continue reading]

The Deadly Tower of Monsters [FIRST IMPRESSIONS]

The Deadly Tower of Monsters
First Impressions

Concept
7/10

This is a game full of little innovative ideas in both its gameplay and approach to storytelling.  They mostly keep its more pedestrian elements afloat, which are generally well implemented anyway.  It lulls you into thinking it’s less original than it actually is, before smashing you with a surprising number of inventive twists.  Quite an old-school approach throughout is lent a nostalgic feel rather than a stale one.

Gameplay
7/10

Quickly building on elements we’ve seen numerous times before, the bare bones of this game are fundamentals we are all well aware of.  …   [continue reading]

Life of Brian

I wasn’t going to spotlight Life of Brian for some time, mainly because it’s already such a huge and revered part of popular culture.  With the recent tragic news of Terry Jones, core Monty Python member and the film’s director, having been diagnosed with dementia, I decided to write this in tribute to his overlooked work.  Being his directorial debut as the singular visionary, Life of Brian is a wonderfully realised work of comedic art.  Coherent and consistent in its style, it did away with the messy and compromised results of its predecessor, The Holy Grail (which featured a tandem team of Jones and fellow member Terry Gilliam at the helm).…   [continue reading]

Lords of the Fallen [FIRST IMPRESSIONS]

Apologies for video quality!

Lords of the Fallen
First Impressions

(all ratings are out of 10)

Concept
1

How dare any video game be this staggeringly derivative in every area of its design?  Dark Souls fans will never be satisfied with a watered down version and the uninitiated will never care.  I’ve already put more effort into these sentences than must have been in any of the brainstorming sessions for this title.

Gameplay
3

Clunky and utterly lacking in any fun, the combat system is an insult and waste of players’ lives.  To add to this, the menus and character development are left elusive with no allure to want to learn their intricacies.  …   [continue reading]