Mr. Mero: 2XXX

This is Part Four of a short fiction.

Part OnePart TwoPart Three

J-Seven associated the tonal countdown that had come bursting into his eardrum implants with progress. Not only did it represent the end of his duly allotted rest period, but it also signalled the start of a personal learning phase. He had another two of these scheduled, and he contemplated what might help to drive him through them. His upcoming briefing concerned History, a subject far too removed from the future he placed his true interest in.

At least Vitrius’ latest model was a greater comfort on the temples, which resulted in an appreciated lack of headaches.…   [continue reading]

Mr. Mero: 20XX

This is Part Three of a short fiction.

Part One — Part Two — Part Four

Mr. Mero’s morning was off to a promising start. As advertised, an anaesthetic injection had worked wonders on his surprisingly decrepit spine, allowing him to stand without agony. It gave him the extra energy to program the MatterMate properly, which led to a much richer approximation of tea and toast. But a phone call the previous evening was the real reason for his mood.

The conversation suggested his involvement in Vitrius’ latest prototype. Their contact meant that he could get personal access to an exciting, if elusive, new development.…   [continue reading]

Mr. Mero: 199X

This is Part Two of a short fiction.

Part One — Part Three — Part Four

Several years (and many more cups of vended coffee) later, Mr. Mero found himself at the main desk of the same room he trained in — troubled. Older and more savvy, he had grown to read less music magazines and more broadsheets. One particular morning, he couldn’t put his finger on what disturbed him more. Was it the headline announcing the successful cloning of a rhesus monkey, or rather the side-line story sensationalising an adolescent suicide? Both had ruined his day before it had even started.…   [continue reading]

Mr. Mero: 19XX

This is Part One of a short fiction.

Part Two — Part Three — Part Four

Aligned in perfect symmetry, the desks of the classroom formed an ordered horseshoe. Upon closer inspection, Mr. Mero noticed that nothing had changed in the anarchic spirit of young independence. Chewing gum pocked the table legs and lurked beneath the surface out of sight. He even allowed himself a smile at a crudely carved penis. After all, he engraved the same in his childhood with some infant inkling of territorial pride.

Mr. Mero was as much an apprentice as the juveniles lining up outside — unfamiliar with his subject and nervous of failure.…   [continue reading]

Poor Messrs. Fish

This piece is an extract from our first print zine, Issue #1: BirthClick here for more information.

I can’t bear to harm a smiling face. A smiling face conceals a soul. A smiling face’s feelings are hurt when you mangle it. Eating it is bad enough, but throwing it away is reprehensible, and if I eat the smiling face it has at least served its life purpose.

That’s why I’m sitting, edge-of-my-seat, eye-on-the-clock, flicking through a plate of goldfish crackers to find the ones with faces so I can eat them and rescue them from the garbage. It is very horrible of the makers of goldfish crackers to put faces on some but not all of the goldfish.…   [continue reading]

ACME: An Introduction

This ten-part fiction is currently being serialised in our zine. You can download a PDF of our first issue, featuring this part, here.


An Introduction
(welcome to the wonderful world of entertainment)

Petey stood perspiring, rubbing his porky and ill-defined pinkies together in angst, fearful but energized. Let’s proceed to paint this picture with all the full wonder and respect it commands, for the room in which Petey shook – not entirely out of disturbance, but more anticipation – was so unlike any enclosed space you have ever entered. The only thing known to the average human, like you or I, that could even approach the decoration, architecture or general ambience of that cavernous chamber is what hallucinogenic drug users may find in an un-enclosed clearing.…   [continue reading]

Issue #1: Birth: A Final Announcement and Update

Several months ago, we announced our first physical zine. Since that announcement, Benjamin and I have been working hard to make Issue #1: Birth a reality. On the same day as this post’s publication, we’ve made our final order for the complete batch of debut issues. Once we’ve received them, we’ll send out individual copies to our subscribers. With its release just a few days away, this post will take a look at each of the zine’s talented contributors. In addition, I’ll detail a few of the difficulties we’ve encountered in the process, and how they’ve helped us to develop.…   [continue reading]

The Best and Worst of Trailers [2016]

Hear the writers discuss this subject on the Secret Cave Podcast!  And another time!  And even another time!

At first I was going to make this piece an overview of trailers in their entirety, using two from this year as examples.  Instead, it occurred to me that i’d simply be stealing an upcoming subject from fellow writer, Ben Mulholland.  As such, I thought it more befitting of me to look in depth at the two examples.  One staggeringly bad, another breathtakingly good, there are a lot of meaty tangents to go off on from both.

Trailers, on the whole, are mere promotional tools to rally the populous.  …   [continue reading]