Issue #1: Birth – The Frame

After the launch of Secret Cave’s online store, where slavering millennials and web-based creatives can, at last, feel the material presence of their favourite online “zine”, I, Lee‘s dad, thought it would be fitting to add to this existential element of the website.

It’s one thing to clatter around on a keyboard and instruct someone to switch on their machines and program them to churn out consumer goods, like magazines and cassette tapes. It is entirely another thing to take materials from your surrounding environment, produce objects to arbitrary dimensions, pre-determined physical requirement limitations and personal aesthetics using one’s own imagination, understanding, logic, practical skills and enough calorific intake to produce the energy required to shape and reform.…   [continue reading]

SCP3 #07 – Trolls

Click here to hearย SCP3 #07ย on YouTube.

For this episode ofย SCP3, our third season of podcasts, we invited my dad back onto the show. In his previous appearances, he acted as a sage-like elder; keeping Benjamin and I grounded. He’s also, usually, inappropriately vulgar for someone of his age. Along with March and Katy, Dad will be joining us for several episodes of this season. This time, he shows some restraint. Asย SCP3ย develops, though, I’m certain the truth of his intimidating bonhomie will quickly unfurl. Perhaps it was merely the topic at hand, which engrossed us all in a conversation exceeding two hours in length.…   [continue reading]

The Choice is Yours (SCP Mini)

Click here for thisย SCP Miniย on YouTube.

It’s been some time since we’ve released anย SCP Mini. Therefore, I may as well go over their concept once more before I introduce our latest. Using dialogue from our podcast episodes, Benjamin creates short, compressed versions set to edited footage. They allow us to focus on a particular subject, and accentuate key points and humour. In addition, they’re an excellent way for Benjamin to express his developing skill for video editing. Though they’ve only ever pulled in pathetically small view counts on our YouTube, they’reย among ourย personal favourite content.

For thisย SCP Mini, Benjamin has used a deleted “scene” from episode fourteen of our second season.…   [continue reading]

Secret Cave Office Chart [APRIL 2017]

April is the month of my birthday. Therefore, I felt it only appropriate that I reflect that general merriment with a more upbeat playlist. I also, in its construction, had several things going on in my life that rather coloured the choices I made. As a result, it’s perhaps not as exploratory as i’d like it to be. That said, I do feel it improves over my more disparate offering from last month. There’s still a clear divide in the groupings of similar material at times, but i’m going to blame that on the personal nature of my decisions. For those who can see the implications of my words, it didn’t work out.…   [continue reading]

I’m Not Saying Andy Tyrrell Should Join Twitter

This is written in response to an article here by Andy Tyrrell, my father.

Est Pater meus, cunnus; it is true that my father is a cunt. Puffed up by the bitter fats of aged failure, only a taxi driver could spit such vitriol at something he doesn’t understand. This is why, as a hackney carriage operator himself, Andy Tyrrell concentrates on pedantry for the base of his criticism. None of this is to denigrate his obvious intelligence either, which is clear from his rampant eloquence. ย Where my dad falls down, however, probably lies in the fact that he has no Twitter account.…   [continue reading]